How to Run Your First 1:1 Meeting (Template Included)

Your first 1:1 meeting as a manager is going to feel awkward. That’s fine. The person sitting across from you is probably just as uncomfortable. The good news is that 1:1s are the single highest-leverage thing you’ll do as a manager, and getting them right isn’t complicated — it just takes intention.

Here’s everything you need to walk in prepared.

Why 1:1s Matter More Than You Think

Skip team meetings if you have to. Never skip 1:1s.

1:1s are where trust gets built. They’re where you learn what’s really going on — the stuff people won’t say in a group. They’re where you catch small problems before they become big ones, and where your direct reports feel seen as humans, not just resources.

The managers who “don’t have time for 1:1s” are the ones blindsided by resignations. Don’t be that manager.

Before the Meeting

Schedule it right. Weekly, 30 minutes, same day and time every week. Consistency matters. If you cancel or reschedule constantly, you’re telling your report that they’re not a priority.

Make it their meeting, not yours. Send a shared agenda (a Google Doc works, or a tool like Fellow if you want something purpose-built). Tell them: “This is your meeting. Add anything you want to discuss. I’ll add items too, but your topics come first.”

Do your homework. Before the meeting, review what they’re working on, any recent wins or struggles, and your notes from the last conversation. Walking in cold wastes everyone’s time.

The First 1:1 Is Different

Your very first 1:1 with a direct report isn’t a status update. It’s a relationship-building conversation. You’re setting the tone for every future meeting.

Here’s what to cover in your first 1:1:

• How they prefer to receive feedback (written vs. verbal, in the moment vs. later)
• What a good week looks like for them
• What frustrates them most about work
• What their career goals are (even a rough idea)
• What they need from you to do their best work
• How they feel about the team dynamic

You won’t get through all of this in 30 minutes. That’s okay. These questions are a starting point, not a checklist.

The Ongoing 1:1 Template

Once you’re past the first meeting, here’s a template that works week after week. You don’t need to cover every section every time — rotate based on what’s relevant.

1:1 Meeting Template

Check-in (5 minutes)

• How are you doing? (Actually mean it. Wait for a real answer.)
• Anything going on outside of work that’s affecting your week?

Their topics (10-15 minutes)

• What did you add to the agenda?
• What’s on your mind?

Work review (5-10 minutes)

• What’s going well this week?
• Where are you stuck or blocked?
• Is there anything you need from me to move forward?

Growth and development (5 minutes)

• Any skills you want to build?
• Feedback on recent work (be specific, not generic)
• Progress on goals we’ve discussed

Action items (2 minutes)

• Summarize what we each committed to
• Confirm deadlines

Questions That Actually Spark Good Conversations

When the conversation stalls, these questions reliably open things up:

• “What’s one thing I could do differently to support you better?”
• “Is there anything you’re working on that you think I don’t know about?”
• “If you could change one thing about how the team works, what would it be?”
• “What’s the most useful feedback you’ve ever received?”
• “Is there a skill you want to develop that we haven’t talked about?”
• “What’s draining your energy right now?”

Don’t ask all of these in one sitting. Pick one or two when the conversation needs a nudge.

Common First-Timer Mistakes

Turning it into a status update. If your 1:1 sounds like a standup, you’re doing it wrong. You can get status from Slack or your project tool. 1:1s are for the stuff that doesn’t come up in those channels.

Talking too much. You should be talking less than 40% of the time. If you’re doing most of the talking, you’re having a lecture, not a conversation.

Not taking notes. You will forget what was discussed. Write down key points and action items during or immediately after. Your reports notice when you remember what they said — and when you don’t.

Canceling when things get busy. This is when 1:1s matter most. If you’re genuinely slammed, shorten them to 15 minutes instead of canceling.

Avoiding difficult topics. If someone’s underperforming or there’s tension, the 1:1 is exactly where to address it. Avoiding it doesn’t make it go away. It makes it worse.

How to Handle Silence

Sometimes you’ll ask a question and get nothing back. Don’t panic. Don’t fill the silence.

Wait. Count to five in your head. Most people will start talking if you give them space. The silence feels longer to you than to them.

If they’re consistently quiet, try changing the format. Some people do better with a walking 1:1. Others prefer to write their thoughts in the shared agenda beforehand and talk through what they wrote.

After the Meeting

Follow up on your commitments. If you said you’d look into something, look into it and report back. Nothing erodes trust faster than a manager who makes promises in 1:1s and never follows through.

Send a brief summary. A quick Slack message or note in your shared doc: “Here’s what we discussed, here’s what I’m going to do, here’s what you committed to.” Takes two minutes and prevents miscommunication.

Bottom Line

Your first 1:1 sets the tone for your entire management relationship. Make it about them, not you. Listen more than you talk. Use a shared agenda so they own the conversation. And show up consistently — every week, prepared, present, and human. The template above will keep you on track, but the real magic happens when your report trusts you enough to tell you what’s actually going on. That trust starts in meeting number one.